As a Divorce Lawyer in New Delhi, I can say that Divorce rates are going up in India and marriages end in Divorce, and especially in metro cities like New Delhi. Couples aren’t really willing to stick together and are more than happy to fight it out in Courts. I’m not saying that their reasons for seeking a Divorce are wrong, I’m sure they must have deliberated over it for a long time before arriving at the decision. After all, they know each other better than anybody else, and if they have decided to get in touch with a Divorce Lawyer, then I’m sure that’s the best for them. While one is in a marriage, there are certain signs and behaviors that he/she can identify which ultimately leads to a Divorce.
No Mutual Respect
Humans require constant care and attention. More than money, they want to be respected and liked. When couples lose mutual respect for each other’s thoughts, opinions and decisions, that’s a big sign that things are not going well between them. With no mutual respect for each other, couples tend to literally mock and insult each other, thereby giving rise to constant quarrels and fights and ultimately aggravating their relationship as husband and wife. Divorce seems the only option in that case.
I can’t even count how many couples (even unmarried) fall into the trap of playing the stupid game of control and possessiveness. Everybody like to play games on their phones, controlling their characters, making them jump, run, turn and do all kind of stuff when them.
The problem begins when they try to play the same game with their spouse in real life. They want to know where he/she has been, what he/she has been doing, why he/she was talking to that person, interference in what the other person should be doing or not doing, and all kind of stupid things like that.
Humans are intelligent and free willed individuals, and they do not like to be controlled like a robot under any circumstances. Haven’t we learned nothing from all the Civil Wars which have been fought only for a little thing we call ‘freedom’. The moment one spouse starts controlling the other, their marriage goes spiraling down at a fast pace. There is only so much that the other spouse will take before he/she snaps and ultimately wants to Divorce and attain freedom for his/her life once again.
Not Taking Responsibility
Humans are very clever, they want to do everything but don’t want to take responsibility if they mess up somewhere. The strange part is that on most occasions, they are so oblivious that they don’t even realize that they are the root cause of all the issues and problems.
The same thing applies in a marriage as well. The husband and wife are 2 tires of a cycle, and if either fails, the matrimonial cycle will fall down. A couple will quarrel and fight with each other everyday, blame each other, their relatives, their friends, the government, the economy, their boss, their employees and literally everybody except themselves for the problem and mess they are in.
Things are bound to go wrong in a marriage, but rather than realizing their mistakes and accepting responsibility for the same, couples tend to shift the blame on other, which is never a good sign in a healthy marriage. Ultimately, that saturation point is achieved where the couples find it best to Divorce each other and live their lives separately.
Having a Big Ego
How many lives, careers and relationships have been destroyed only because one’s ego is bigger than the size of the Sun. Your ego is one hell of a Devil, sitting on your shoulder and telling you that you are the center of the Universe and how every other person is nothing in front of you.
Usually very petty and small issues originate in a marriage, couples quarrel like crazy over them, and within no time everything else goes for toss and their ego comes into the picture and takes charge of the whole situation.
Ego tussles between couples slowly cracks the marriage mirror and soon it shatters into small pieces. That’s the time when couples feel the need to collect their share of the pieces and leave each other for the better through Divorce.
I can’t think of any situation where criticism does any good or plays any positive role. Rather than supporting each other, couples tend to criticize each other in order to make the other feel unworthy and stupid. Couples who do this all the time surely do not think much of each other.
Being critical is one thing, but being over critical is another. When couples start nitpicking every small issue and assume that the other person is stupid, that’s where the bond of husband and wife starts weakening as the other person invariably crosses his/her threshold of patience leading to ugly quarrels every now and then. Imagine this being done over a period of 5, 10 or 15 years and ultimately he/she wants to break free from this mental harassment through divorce.
This has to be one of the biggest reason why one spouse, usually the wife, wants a Divorce from her husband. She can somehow tolerate mental abuse, but when it comes to physical abuse, that’s where the saturation point is achieved and divorce seems like the only logical option to get her life back.
A physically abusive relationship is not acceptable in any way and under any circumstances whatsoever and the individual suffering from it should seek legal help at the earliest.
A marriage is built on trust, respect and love for each other. It should feel so natural that it blurs the line between being husband-wife and being friends. If one is being subjected to mentally and/or physically abuse, then it’s wise to move out of such a relationship. Don’t bother about “log kya kahenge”, because no matter what “kuch toh log kahenge, logo ka kaam toh hai kehna”.
These were some of the reasons why I believe marriages end in Divorce in big cities like Delhi. I wish couples stop making these stupid mistakes in their marriages.
Do you agree with my reasons? Let me know in the comments box below.
- Disclaimer: This article is not a substitute for professional legal advice. This article does not create an attorney-client relationship, nor is it a solicitation to offer legal advice.
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